Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
