Apparently you make a good broom.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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