"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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