he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
