Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I had to cum in my sink.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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