I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
