what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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