I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
