How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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