i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
