I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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