Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
