K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
