i may or may not be watching the land before time
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
