SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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