Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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