Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
