i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
