The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
