Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
