I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
