How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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