just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize