What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
