he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
