Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
