Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
