We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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