I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
