Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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