census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
