yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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