I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
