in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
