Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
