just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
