Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Found the puke drawer
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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