i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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