I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
