My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
