No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
