i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
