Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
