break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
