dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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