Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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