38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
