I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
