Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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