I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
