It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
