i permit you to call me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Your dad touched me again.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
